March, the time we all know as the month of goodbyes and moving ons. Though I had experienced saying a lot of goodbyes every time this month passes by, having 'graduation goggles' and sympathizing to my grade school and high school friends about how much we will miss each other, I'm ashamed to say that I've never really, genuinely felt sad about it. I admit, it does make me sound like a hypocrite. But now, this March of 2013, I can honestly say that I finally know how much it hurts to say goodbye. It really is a hard thing to do, but it's part of life. Besides, there won't be a new beginning without an ending. And therefore, goodbyes are necessary for us to open a new chapter in our life and move on.
I just realized this when I actually started saying goodbye to the people I grew close with and the things that already became a part of my life. With the ending of the second semester of the second year of our college life comes the realization that we are already moving on to the next chapter of our lives. As I look back on the things I have done this past semester, it made me feel like I've been running non-stop, accomplishing a lot of things and yet, failing in some, staying up late at night stressing about projects and requirements, but still having the time to get a good laugh about everything, be it good or bad. Though I am very much relieved to say goodbye to all the negative stuff, it's still a little hard for me to leave the times when all we did was just laugh at the hardships we kept going through. Somehow, it just became a part of me that I will never forget.
Another thing that I found hard to say goodbye to and feel genuinely sad about its ending is the show Himitsu no Arashi-chan. Though I only knew its existence for a year, watching some of its older episodes and following the current ones made me feel like I've been watching it all my life. I had second thoughts about watching the final episode because the fact that it's already ending was still very surreal for me. However, listening to the member's messages, seeing them return the keys and watching Ohno turn off the lights and close the door of the Sharehouse made me wake up to the reality that one of the first Arashi show I knew and loved was really ending. Seeing its transitions within the span of 5 years being on air, I could honestly say that Himitsu no Arashi-chan is a great show, a show which is hard to say goodbye to. I really felt like crying as I kept watching the ending credits, but somehow, my tears just won't come out. Thank goodness! Because I really don't want to cry before I sleep as it would result in the swelling of my eyes when I wake up in the morning. But there's no doubt in my heart and mind that I will surely miss this show.
Probably, the 23rd of March 2013 is the saddest day I've ever had this year. It was the day that my first ever Japanese friends went back to Japan. We've only been together for one semester, but after sharing interests and a lot of moments with them, they really grew on me and we became a part of each other's lives. We don't have any classes anymore at the time of their departure, but my friend and I still went to our school just to say our goodbyes to them and see them off. I never planned to shed one tear on that day because I want them to leave with smiles on their faces. But as their service came, I came to them and said, "Mata ne~" I didn't say 'Sayonara' because it would be too sad and it would also mean not seeing them again.
"Mata ne! We'll surely see each other again." I said to them, smiling. Then, all of a sudden, Anna-chan started crying. Panic-stricken, I said, "Wha-- Why are you crying? Please, don't cry." and patted her shoulder. Before I knew it, tears started falling from my eyes, but I still kept on telling her not to cry. We both cried together and hugged each other. It was funny because we both looked like idiots. But really, what I felt that time was genuine sadness. And seeing their service drove away from us as we waved goodbye to each other, it left an impact in me. It was the reality that I won't be seeing them for a long while. But I promised them that if I ever visit Japan, I will be sure to contact them and visit them at Narra.
I just wish that I could go to Japan as soon as possible...